Installing rogue security software... Dividing by zero... Triangulating location... Emptying bank account... Loading infinite maggots... Contacting your personal FBI agent... Counting backwards from infinity... Stealing your identity... Loading loading messages... Legally changing your name... Installing crimeware... Uploading porn to your hard drive... Reconfiguring data for your IQ... Installing trojan... Installing ransomware... Forecasting the weather... Twiddling thumbs... Disabling VPN... Accessing search history... Opening a rift in time and space... Logging retinal movement... Identifying deep irony... Capturing facial data... Reconciling general relativity and quantum mechanics... Asking your mom on a date... Violating Copernican principle... Deciding what message to display next... Logging IP address... Vending personal data... Contracting identity broker... Spoofing loading messages... Charging credit cards... Generating ad content... Tapping into subconscious fears... Downloading more RAM... Debugging Debugger... Giving your grandma a stroke... Nucleosythesizing rare isotopes... Installing Norton Antivirus... Transcribing Voynich Manuscript...Loading loophole-free legal contract... Connecting Neurotoxin Storage Tank... Recalibrating the thingamajigger...